XL TG: Felicity’s Journal

Asshole Driver of the Night

License Plate: 800 MHM
Car Description: Black Pontiac G6
Asshole Maneuver: Speeding (120+ kph); cutting people off
Location: Number Five Road from Granville Avenue to Cambie Road
Date/Time: Sunday 12 July 2009, about 9:45 p.m.

Saudi Family Sues Genie, Alleges Harassment

(CNN)—A family in Saudi Arabia has taken a genie to court, alleging theft and harassment, according to local media.

The lawsuit filed in Shariah court accuses the genie of leaving them threatening voicemails, stealing their cell phones and hurling rocks at them when they leave their house at night, said Al-Watan newspaper.

( Read more... )

Many Saudis believe invisible genies live among them and are capable of demonic possession and revenge.

[Credit: Phil Hendrie on Twitter]

It Begins Again

Joe Jackson ‘Planning to Tour Grandkids as Jackson Three’

I wonder if Michael was the only thing standing in the way of this happening earlier.

Of course, they’re not Michael’s biological children, so who’s to say they have his talent? In theory, they should grow up to be good-looking, intelligent dentists.

[Credit: Phil Hendrie on Twitter]

Asshole Driver of the Day

License Plate: HWB 095
Car Description: White Chevrolet Lumina sedan.
Asshole Maneuver: Trying to cut me off; tailgating.
Location: Steveston Highway from Number One Road to Number Two Road, Richmond.
Date/Time: Sunday 12 July 2009 at about 9:15 a.m.

All IM Is Fucked…

Neither Pidgin nor MSN Messenger nor YAHOO! Instant Messenger will load any of my accounts. I can no longer receive instant messages.

…And Twitter Is Fucked

It used to be I would get an unresponsive script error every time I took an action that loaded the page, like refreshing or posting a tweet. Now it gives constant unresponsive script errors that never stop even if I take no action. I had to shut down the page. So, I can no longer be reached on Twitter, or at least not on this goddamn Linux computer.

[YouTube] David Letterman’s Optimus Prime Top Ten List

Top Ten Things That Sound Cool When Said by a Giant Robot.

Sadly, it’s the Michael Bay Optimus. But that means it’s Peter Cullen, so just close your eyes and imagine the 1980s cartoon Optimus is talking.

[Credit: Scott H]

Asshole Driver of the Night

License Plate: 941 JLR
Car Description: Dark gray Honda Accord
Asshole Maneuver: Cutting me off, speeding
Location: On Westminster Highway, from Railway Avenue to Number One Road
Date/Time: Sunday 5 July 2009, about 5:30 p.m.

Saddam Hussein Faked WMDs to Fool Iran

Eighteen months before he was hanged, Saddam Hussein told the FBI he allowed the world to believe he had weapons of mass destruction because he was worried about appearing weak to Iran, reports said yesterday.

[Credit: The Bede]

Asshole Driver of the Night

License Plate: 617 GNM
Car Description: Older black Honda sportscar, driven by young Asian male with very short hair.
Asshole Maneuver: Speeding, cutting me and another person off.
Location: Burnaby.
Date/Time: Sunday 28 June 2009 at about 5:30 a.m.

Arguing Couple Does No Damage with Cheetos

By Brian Mosely

A local couple arrested on domestic assault charges Sunday had an unusual choice of alleged weaponry—Cheetos.

( Read more... )

[Credit: Teh Bede]

Fox News Gets Okay to Misinform Public, Court Ruling

The attorneys for Fox, owned by media baron Rupert Murdock, successfully argued the First Amendment gives broadcasters the right to lie or deliberately distort news reports on the public airwaves.

( Read more... )

[Credit: Patient Zero 2.03]

Nice!

Rich Russian Tourists Pay to Kill Somali Pirates

“His business idea is simple: his cruise ship is the bait for the pirates. If the real pirates try to board the seemingly harmless ship, they experience a surprise. Instead defenseless merchant sailors they are confronted with Russian tourists armed to the teeth. A macabre tourist fun.”

[Credit: Dave Thomas on Twitter]

Way to Go, Google Adsense

Automatically-generated ad during clip about Michelle Bachman likening the Census to internment of Japanese-Americans:

Asshole Driver of the Night

License Plate: 688 GSN
Car Description: Navy blue sedan
Asshole Maneuver: Speeding, yelling and screaming, taunting
Location: Kingsway, Burnaby
Date/Time: Wednesday 24 June 2009 at about 3:15 a.m.

Spinal Tap Isn’t Tapped Out Yet

The faux metal band that sprung forth from Rob Reiner’s 1984 ‘mockumentary’ is back with a new album (its first in 17 years) and a one-off ‘world tour.’

By Steve Appleford

The rock stars in the room have been at this all day. Since 11 a.m., the laughable, mostly fictional heavy-metal trio Spinal Tap has been hard at work, making the usual wig adjustments and celebrating the release of the band’s first album in 17 years.

( Read more... )

[Credit: David E. Powell]

Oklahoma City Woman Trades Sex for Case of Chips

By Johnny Johnson

A woman pleaded no contest last week to prostitution charges, accused of agreeing to be paid for services with a box of chips by a man who said he was a Frito-Lay employee.

( Read more... )

Suggested UK
tabloid headline:
Prostitute Not
‘Free to Lay’
[Credit: Phil Hendrie on Twitter]

Stoned Wallabies Make Crop Circles

Australian wallabies are eating opium poppies and creating crop circles as they hop around “as high as a kite,” a government official has said.

( Read more... )

[Credit: Phil Hendrie on Twitter]

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